Making big decisions... together.

I haven't posted this week because I was in the middle of an interview process. That's over now, thank goodness!

This is us:

We are newlyweds, in a new city in a new state in a new part of the country. A is starting a new degree program, hopefully starting a newer and better one in two years. Lots of things are new, and it's a scary. In the meantime, we're learning how to be married (which is also scary)- how to argue respectfully, how to split chores, and most importantly, how to make major decisions together.

Last night, in what is probably our first major married decision, we decided together that I would not take the job offered to me yesterday. There are many, many factors involved in such a major decision. And I know my parents (nor probably his parents) are not happy and may be even furious about it. But ultimately at the end of the day, I think it's the best decision for us long term. A was actually the prime reasoner in this situation and throughout our talk last night, as I was really emotional, and I feel like his reasons for both pro and con of taking the job were solid, logical, and a prime resource for me feeling good about declining said job when I called Brendan a few minutes ago.

Ultimately what it came down to is while this is the first job offer I've had since we've lived here, it is would be a hindrance to both my resume and long term goals. They offered me a job that was not the one for which I applied or thought I was interviewing for or even had mentioned to me. It was a step down from what I was doing before, in a store that had 1/10th the volume in a market that frankly I don't see going anywhere but online, with what I assume would be much less responsibility or decision making room. While the company was very quick to get me into 3 different interviews, the bait and switch of positions left a bad taste in my mouth, especially because I wasn't being offered the original job because I needed to “learn the company”. Even more troubling, I asked for a solid, conscise job description- what my specific jobs were, what I personally was responsible for, and how I would be evaluated. Questions that should have easy, specific answers. Not one of the people I interviewed with could or would give me an answer. I asked all three of them, and not one of them could give me an answer! I was not, nor will I ever be, comfortable accepting a job without knowing what it would entail in even the vaguest terms.

Another big part of my rejecting the offer is that while I LOVED working at Big Corporate Bookstore, I don't feel like retail is where I need to be in the long run and I don't want to be stuck. I love people, I loved working retail for 3 years, but there came a point where I knew I needed to move on. I love and adore my managers at BCB even now that I'm gone, my coworkers were some of my closest friends and confidants and the store as a whole was my Lexington family, occasionally dysfunctional but mainly pretty fun. And naturally, no one wants to leave their family even when they need something different. I was, essentially, too attached to my store and my coworkers and working in an enviroment that I knew to make the jump to something new, different, and a little scary. Going into an unknown work situation is terrifying and if I am content enough where I am, I will not make a change and I was afraid of this exact same thing happening again, because A and I both knew it would. I am not the “job hopping” type- I've been on the clean-up end of when someone jumps ship and frankly no matter what line of work it it's in, I think it's unprofessional and opportunistic and I choose to not play that game.

I called the store manager today and told him that unless he was willing to up the rate of pay (by a significant amount) or reconsider me for the job that I actually had applied for, I would have to decline. And while he said he would have to talk to the district manager about it, I could tell by his tone of voice that he doesn't intend to and I don't expect to hear from him again. I hung up expecting to feel absolutely TERRIFIED and regret not taking the job. However, I also knew even before I made the call that I would respect myself a little less if I had taken it, and now after I made the call, I don't regret it one bit. Is it risky? Absolutely it's risky, one needs money to live, especially here in Connecticut. We're financially okay for at least a few more months, though. Most people I think will tell that it was a terrible idea to turn it down, that I'm ungrateful, that in “this economy” it was a foolish move, maybe that it (or I) am downright stupid. But A and I are both confident in this decision and we do have a plan of action. We didn't go into this blind and most importantly, we made this decision together and because we did, I am 100% certain it was the right one.